Jesus's Adventure for Buddha's Gift through Text Messaging
by Karhien
Summary: Jesus is thankful for what Buddha has done for his birthday and he wants to show his thanks by trying to buy a gift for him. However, there are a few obstacles that Jesus has to face and all of it is recorded in his cellphone through text messages. Hikaru's Birthday Present.


**Today is July 26 and… I couldn't finish the gift fanfiction that I was writing for you, Karu-chan… **

**With marching band practice, summer homework, and personal stuff, I couldn't completely write your fanfiction on time. So, I had to do some compromising to make sure I publish a fanfiction on your birthday... I remembering reading a fanfiction with text message format and well, here is my shortcut. **

**I hope you like this as I am still busy with reality… **

**But for now, please enjoy and happy birthday, Karu-chan.**

* * *

**Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, when is your birthday?

** Message from [Buddha]**

Why do you want to know, Jesus?

**Message from [Jesus] **

Nnnothing at all!

** Message from [Buddha] **

Jesus, did you stutter in text messaging?

**Message from [Jesus] **

Um, maybe?

**Message from [Jesus] **

May you please tell me when your birthday is?

** Message from [Buddha]**

I do not really know.

** Message from [Buddha]**

I had celebrated my birthday during my childhood but I never celebrated it when I traveled out from the palace, especially under that pipal tree.

**Message from [Jesus] **

Oh…

**Message from [Jesus] **

I see…

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus, please don't be dejected.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Your stigmata might bleed.

**Message from [Jesus]**

Oh, sorry. Don't worry, Buddha, I cleaned the blood off with a towel by a generous lady.

**Message from [Jesus]**

She even let me keep the towel.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus, please be careful and don't let people know who you really are okay.

**Message from [Jesus]**

Okay!

**Message from [Jesus]**

But Buddha

**Message from [Jesus]**

You don't know when is your birthday?

** Message from [Buddha]**

No, not really.

**Message from [Jesus]**

Do you at least have a hint of when it is?

** Message from [Buddha]**

From what I remember

** Message from [Buddha]**

It is the first full moon day of the sixth month of the lunar calendar

** Message from [Buddha]**

Which would be the fourth month of the Chinese calendar

** Message from [Buddha]**

Except in years in which there's an extra full moon

** Message from [Buddha]**

And then it falls in the seventh month.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Well, except it then starts a week earlier.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus?

** Message from [Buddha]**

Are you alright?

**Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha

**Message from [Jesus]**

I tried to find what date it is on a nearby calendar

**Message from [Jesus]**

And somehow I'm lost

* * *

**Message from [Jesus]**

Good news, Buddha!

**Message from [Jesus]**

A nice man told me. It's April 8th!

** Message from [Buddha]**

I see.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Still, why do you want to know, Jesus?

** Message from [Buddha]**

It's been quite some time after your birthday…

**Message from [Jesus]**

Iiiit's nothing!

**Message from [Jesus]**

Iii just thought it would be nice to shop alone, that's all.

** Message from [Buddha]**

I see.

** Message from [Buddha]**

But don't spend too much money, alright.

* * *

**Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha! (*^▽^*)

**Message from [Jesus]**

A group of nice girls showed me something called emoticons! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

** Message from [Buddha]**

I see…

**Message from [Jesus]**

It's really great! ＼(^▽^＠)ノ

**Message from [Jesus]**

I could put this on my blog! (o^^)o

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus, may I ask where you are at?

**Message from [Jesus]**

I'm at this really great mall. ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/

**Message from [Jesus]**

They are serving nice food and flowers and have great internet connection! ＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／

**Message from [Jesus]**

And many others think I look like Johnny Depp!ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ

**Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha

** Message from [Buddha]**

Yes, Jesus?

**Message from [Jesus]**

Who is Daniel Radcliffe?

** Message from [Buddha]**

You don't know?

** Message from [Buddha]**

He's Harry Potter in the movies.

**Message from [Jesus]**

I never did read Harry Potter…

**Message from [Jesus]**

Some of my followers seem really hesitant about it for some reason…

** Message from [Buddha]**

Isn't it just a book series?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Perhaps I should buy a book while I'm here. ヾ(＾-＾)ノ

** Message from [Buddha]**

Check the prices and buy the cheapest one, okay!

** Message from [Jesus]**

But Buddha…

** Message from [Buddha]**

Yes, Jesus?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Do I look better with shorter hair?

** Message from [Jesus]**

The people who thought I was Daniel Radcliffe kept saying I looked better with short hair… ( p_q)

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus, please don't let your stigmata bleed…

** Message from [Buddha]**

I believe you are fine with just the way you are.

** Message from [Buddha]**

You cannot let others pick who you are as you are perfect the way your father made you.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Oh thank you Buddha! ＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／

** Message from [Jesus]**

You made me so happy that I renewed a fisherman's stock with brand new fish! ＼（＾▽＾）／

** Message from [Jesus]**

And the rain seems to have calmed down too. (^∇^)

** Message from [Buddha]**

Please be careful, Jesus…

** Message from [Buddha]**

We are still on our vacation…

* * *

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha

** Message from [Buddha]**

Yes, Jesus?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Why do some think Lucifer is red and has horns and a pitchfork?

** Message from [Jesus]**

And why is there a Japanese rock band with that name?

** Message from [Jesus]**

I don't think Michael will like this.

** Message from [Jesus]**

I really wish Lucifer can simply apologize to Michael…

** Message from [Jesus]**

He is the big brother…

** Message from [Buddha]**

Don't worry, Jesus

** Message from [Buddha]**

Lucifer just needs time, that's all.

** Message from [Jesus]**

But there is good news! (＾▽＾)

** Message from [Buddha]**

What is it?

** Message from [Jesus]**

There's a band called Nirvana! ＼(^▽^＠)ノ

** Message from [Jesus]**

Perhaps we can listen to them sometimes! Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

** Message from [Buddha]**

I don't know, Jesus…

** Message from [Buddha]**

I don't think that's a good idea…

** Message from [Buddha]**

And we shouldn't spend so freely on money too.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Alright, I'll just buy a green tea soft serve then.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus!

* * *

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha

** Message from [Buddha]**

Yes, Jesus?

** Message from [Jesus]**

I met the yakuza member from the sauna and that one festival and we went to somewhere.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus, what happened?

** Message from [Jesus]**

We went to an amusement park.

** Message from [Jesus]**

And then we went to an airport.

** Message from [Jesus]**

And Buddha

** Message from [Jesus]**

Yes Jesus?

** Message from [Jesus]**

I might be in North America now…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Are you there?

** Message from [Jesus]**

I didn't mean to! Please don't be mad!

** Message from [Jesus]**

I thought it would be great fun and he did keep calling me aniki.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, text messages from other countries cost more.

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus, I understand that you made a mistake and I won't hold it against you. Please come back to Japan by any means necessary.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha! What does that mean?!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, you're not answering…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, I found out I'm in Florida.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, please don't be mad.

** Message from [Jesus]**

People in America don't think I look like Johnny Depp here…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, did you know that there's some sort of amusement park dedicated to me?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, did you know that there are at least four Disney theme parks!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, I might have used some of the money I had to buy a ticket to one of the parks…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there's something called Mickey Mouse and he seems friendly.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there's a castle in this theme park!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there is a similar ride that we rode called Splash Mountain.

** Message from [Jesus]**

I think the one in Japan more, it isn't so scary and the angels were very concerned when I screamed…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, I found birds that won't attach to you! Though you have to go to this tiki room…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there are birds that sing and talk in that room!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there is a carousel that changes the room a lot…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Are you still angry, Buddha?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Please, I'll stop asking for a laptop.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, what's a dwarf? There are seven in a train that I'm waiting.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, the train isn't a train, help me!

** Message from [Jesus]**

It's really weird

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there are a lot of gems in here!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, they have a ride for a bear!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, do we have honey?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there is an actual ride with dwarves from other countries!

** Message from [Jesus]**

It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after, it's a small, small, small world!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha! Help!

** Message from [Jesus]**

There are real ghosts in this mansion!

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha

** Message from [Jesus]**

I found Johnny Depp!

** Message from [Jesus]**

He's a pirate though…

** Message from [Jesus]**

There are a lot of pirates here…

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha

** Message from [Jesus]**

I might have turned some of the water into wine in the ride…

** Message from [Jesus]**

It's nighttime and there was a parade, Buddha.

** Message from [Jesus]**

They also kept the length of the skirt faithful to the movie…

** Message from [Jesus]**

I am now out of Disney

** Message from [Jesus]**

Perhaps we can come here to Florida, there are some slow rides that you might like.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, I really am sorry.

** Message from [Jesus]**

I was looking for a present for you to thank you for the birthday party.

** Message from [Jesus]**

I didn't mean to go to Florida without you.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, there is a nice girl named Hikaru that serving me sushi in this restaurant.

** Message from [Jesus]**

It's very friendly. And the sushi is good too!

** Message from [Jesus]**

It's called Sushi Tomi, perhaps I'll do a review on my blog than just drama shows.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha, I really am sorry that I went to Florida and to Disney and ate sushi but please respond. I really didn't mean to upset you and I am sorry for my selfishness of what I have done today. Please answer, Buddha.

** Message from [Buddha]**

I am sorry, Jesus, I hadn't paid the cellphone bill so I had to renew our contract.

** Message from [Buddha]**

It's alright that you went to a theme park without me too.

** Message from [Jesus]**

Oh, I'm so happy!

** Message from [Jesus]**

There are more fish for the owners to have though…

** Message from [Buddha]**

Please contain your happiness, Jesus. I don't want miracles scaring people around you.

** Message from [Jesus]**

I'm so glad that you're texting me though!

** Message from [Jesus]**

It's been so lonely without you, Buddha!

** Message from [Buddha]**

But Jesus…

** Message from [Buddha]**

Couldn't you ask for help from the angels?

** Message from [Buddha]**

Jesus?

** Message from [Jesus]**

Ah…

* * *

** Message from [Jesus]**

Buddha

** Message from [Buddha]**

Yes, Jesus?

** Message from [Jesus]**

I found a gift for you!

** Message from [Buddha]**

What is it, Jesus?

** Message from [Jesus]**

You like Osamu Tezuka, right?

** Message from [Buddha]**

Of course

** Message from [Jesus]**

I found the next volume of your biography by Osamu Tezuka on sale right now. ヾ( ^▽^ )ノ

** Message from [Buddha]**

Thank you, Jesus.

* * *

**Strangely, when I tried looking at Buddha's birthday, there are actually different dates in his birthday! You think many countries celebrate the same date but in truth, they don't. There are different sources telling different dates while there are countries who celebrate it differently. In Japan, they celebrate Buddha's birthday on April 8th as many sources tell me and since Jesus and Buddha are in Japan, it shall be the day. **

**And from all these texts, I actually had to think everything on the top of my head and what I know from the movie. I somehow remember stuff that I had done being a kid and yeah, the story is completely different. **

**I hope you like it, Hikaru and again, happy birthday. **


End file.
